so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
