They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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