Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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