We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think i have herpe
just one?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize