You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
