is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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