I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
