Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
