Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
