i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
