No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
