she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
