Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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