Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize