? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
