he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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