hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
