"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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