You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize