people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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