Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
