Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The struggles of a small town man whore
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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