atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
