My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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