his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
