the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
