You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
