If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
