Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
