i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
