i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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