anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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