I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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