You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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