So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
