That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
