So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize