did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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