Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
