I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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