Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
