he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
