New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
