you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize