I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
