we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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