kristin has been a bad kristin
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
