We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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