You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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