I want to make a zoo with you.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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