i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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