in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
