So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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