I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
