Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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