He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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