So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
