Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
