that's an acceptable place to lick
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
