i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
