Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
