I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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