We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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